There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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