Its about making memories worth repressing
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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