Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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