I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Welp...herpes.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
