she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
