Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
