Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
