party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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