I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
