I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
