Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
