i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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