Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
