I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
