i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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