You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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