there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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