I didn't shave. On purpose
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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