You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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