yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
