I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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