if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
