My hand turned me down
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize