Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize