he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
