So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
