what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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