I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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