Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
