sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
