The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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