goodnight i made you a song goodbye
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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