We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize