I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We need to rekindle our bromance
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
