But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize