Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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