I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
