I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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