Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
