and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
