I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
