Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
