More tranny stories later!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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