By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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