Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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