I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
