Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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