I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
