He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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