Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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