I cannot find my penis.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize