And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize