So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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