C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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