I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
