12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
