whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
