windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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