dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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