I just cut my nipple shaving
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize